Its been going on for weeks and weeks. Prior to the jail shows I was into home invasion movies. I had a home invasion movie fest the other weekend. then it was a streak of movies about people being chased in the woods. I needed a “wooded area where bad shit happens to people while they are running away from it” vibe in the film if I was goning to watch it. prior to that it was a “people set adrift out at sea” kick. I guess you just get in the mood for things similar to continue the sensation. Mood. Sensation. So. now I am watching shows about jail. Lock up. Lock down. I now know a lot about Ad Sag, Kites, toothbrush shanks, even a wave of public masturbation in a certain jail/prison.
At this point I am ready for you to start responding to my question: why shows about jail to me interested? Go ahead. Shout it out. Be clever so I don’t have to. I mean, really. Speculate. Ofcourse, you know nothing about me, but should that matter? If you are speculating correctly? (note to self: GAD DOMN IT, I HATE THIS SO FAR!!!) Besiedes, don’t you hate it when you read a article headline that states a question and then tells you the answer in the bod of the text/article? For example: Are Carbs really that bad for you? Fuck you! Pay ME! lawyers salary, pleeease! Goddamnit! Article title = what you will be writing about. just state CARBS ARE BAD in the title if the “research” says they are! The obvious answer is NO! and YES!!! Did we land on the MOON!?!?! The obvious answer is YES! And NO!!! (see the documentary Room 227 for the answer to that!) bythe way, is the roomor true that Stanley quebrick’s wife directed that film? (that film = the film where that lady who playes oliveoil in the live action version of popeye, wit robin williams as Popeye *best live action of a cartoon eVER, by the way * plays Mrs. Jack Torrance.
The movie with the naked black lady over the bed with the afro. The moive with the hedge maze and the “snow cat”. And the golden bar and the typewriter and the tennis ball being thrown against a REALLY FUCKING EXPENSIVE indian tapastrty /rug hanging on the wall. The… got it!!! got it. THE SHINING. That Took awhile but I got it! Or was that The empire strikes back (where the wife directed the movie for the husband)? AGAIN. A question with me having no intension of having an answer to. It. I need YOU to tell me! Cause I am lazy and have no idea where to find out about that kind of thing.! . that’s a lie. I do have an idea where I could start looking, buit you could givbe a shit about that. I am right about that. you ahev (“ahev” AKA “have”)stopped reading at this point. I DO blame you. This is NOT IMPORTANT!
Jail. Prison. 227. 227…wasn’t that the title of that situwaysional comedy from the 80s? the sit + com that starred (NAME DROP) Regina King. I wa sin the same grade she was at the VERY SAME school! I remember she’d be gone for weeks at a time and then she’d just SHOW UP back at school and people would kinda smally crowd around her. I actually thought she’d been sick or something. I never saw the show at the time. I had to go to church on whatever night that it was on. I am thinking that it is/was (called 227). As I sit her on the computer, I am not going to go on the internext to find out. Cuase. Its not what this is all abnout………! This is about: WHY I AM WATCHING SO MANY SHOWWS ABOUT GODDAMNED JAIL!! Question mark?
I need to go pee.
So, why Jail? Or Prison? They are different (I remembered to realize). Not the same.
List of OTHER questions that need answering:
1. Why is there no “mash-up” of the intro of the sit+com of 227 and the shinning?
2. What if Stephens king misspelled the title of the shinning and it was about shining? (this is more of a joke really. Nobody would imagine he would be THAT bad at spelling. Or that someone would have caught that for him).
3. Did scatman Crothers even TRY to sound like bugs bunny when he was introducing himself to the kid? I mean, if I was Cuebricks wife, I would have had him watch a couple more videos of bugs bunny to get it even CLOSE to sounding right. It just made everybody in the scene look away awkwardly. Right? And why did olive oil press him so fucking hard about him knowing the kids nicename!??! JESUS! Fucking RELAX with that bitch! Yer making it seem like scatman is a fuckin name stalker! YEAH, yeah! he was outside your window 800 miles from the overlook listening to yer convos with the kid and his fucking finger! What the fuck did you think he was gonna say with all your pressing up on him?!? “I’m MAGICAL! I’m the MAGICAL BLACK MAN! I can guess kids nicknames!” ???!?
4. What do you do with yourself after yer wife leaves you after 11 years of marriage? (I am asking for a friend).
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