Jonnie Stapleton and Adam Hansen
My friends Jonnie and Adam are two manchild weirdos who are stand-up comics. And in saying that, I find them to be quite funny to the point of jealousy. I feel slow witted in their presence but that’s from years of silent judgment, fat back, Tang and liquor. If you live in any big city, you’ve been asked to support people’s work by driving in traffic, finding a parking spot and then either suffering through or being surprised by their talent or lack thereof and how much your drinks cost.
I will say this now. Jonnie and Adam are like watching a Japanese dating/cooking/sharpshooter show on the only channel in a Spanish hotel room. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I like this sort of comedy. It weirds me out like looking at pictures of otters dramatically pointing at crabs.
I know. Everyone has friends who:
- Have a band
- Are in an improv group
- Have appeared in strange independent films
- Have had non-consensual sex with cows
- Are vegans
- Are incontinent
- Are stand-up comics
- Never get laid much
Seeing Jonnie and Adam could actually take time off of a future jail sentence, because you’ve paid for your crime by watching them go up. I mean that with some sort of love. What they do at parties but not in their act is hump each other.
Both are straight but they spend a lot of time simulating Deliverance love scenes. I think they should put it in their act. I’m sure if you mention it they’ll probably do it.
So far I’ve seen Adam hump:
- Paul (their cuddly filmmaking pal)
- A grand piano
- A table
- My birthday cake
They are disturbing, charming and may actually grow up to be taller man kids with some money one day. Hopefully Jonnie will start having sex with real people soon. Adam is married. Poor chick.
Take the whole family and go see their next show:
When is it? This Saturday, July 16th
Where is it? Formosa Cafe
Formosa trivia: John Wayne, a regular and a professional alcoholic got legless one night and passed out in his usual booth. The owner knew him quite well and not wanting to disturb his bear-like whiskey slumber, left him to rest. So the staff locked up the place with Big John slumped in his favorite vinyl booth. The next morning they found him in the kitchen singing loudly and making breakfast.
Showtime: 8 p.m.
Cost: It’s only $10 – And Jonnie will hold you
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