No Sleep Til Qo’noS

I have a super weird schedule these days. After years of bathing roughly once a week and wearing yoga pants everywhere but especially not to yoga practice, I got sucked into a day job. It’s not bad. They have money there. More money than the yoga pants job. But, still, it’s strange.

wej plot! (Get to the plot!)

Besides showering every day (well, mostly) and interacting with people types, I’ve found that my movie and TV viewing habits have been altered.

Before, I could binge watch/listen to all of the seasons of Fringe and not care that I missed a lot of plot because I was also reading something about the economy. I think Fringe was about a scientist named Walter who liked to talk about his gas issues while his son, Pacey, wears a lot of dark coats but I can’t be sure.

I could stop down to absorb a documentary about how the world is going to hell because our water is being sold back to us and truly care. I could take time for tears and maybe an outraged tweet. I had a carefully manipulated attention span.

Now? I have to make my choices based on storage space because I only have so much brainpower. I have to think about this crap because when I come home from a long day, it’s got to entertain, inform or grab me in some way or I’m going to head straight for the booze or the bed. I can’t waste my time on just any old dreck floating around Netflix or Hulu. Oh no.

One thing I’ve realized is that I need to get good at the Internet. I can’t schlump by with my reading of Buzz Feed and Digg anymore. If I don’t want to dinosaur myself, I need to tweet more, read more 400-word tumblr posts by children who can’t spell, Vine myself and inhale memes. Otherwise, I’ll just be at home drinking Hendricks and thinking that Under The Dome isn’t a bad show.

But the big problem is, I’m old. I have seen the original content from those Family Guy references. I laugh a little too loud at the jokes about Little Darlings. Also, I’m still watching Family Guy.

And if I go see a movie after 9:30, I usually fall asleep. I’m not 70 but my brain is after a day of coming up with slogans for tech companies and new ways to write witty error messages. I will have to wait for Star Trek Into Darkness to hit my iTunes because I was flat out, fucking snoring before they got to the Klingon planet.

The perception is that if we don’t get on the newspeak social media train and call movies and TV content, we are assholes. Well, I’ll just have to be an asshole. Cause operating under the fumes of a 9 to 5, Under the Dome is highly watchable. I think this is how 7th Heaven stayed on the air so long.