Countless Thousands: You’re Goddamn Right

By Stephen Chow

Countless Thousands’s You’re Goddamn Right is pure nerd theatre rock. The four-piece pooled their show choir, cosplay, Civil War reenacting, jazz licks, and rockabilly magic into one pot and voila, a ripping record.

Each track is sharp, edgy, and catchy as hell. Danger Van Gorder may be throwing out funny lyric frisbees, but the production is serious and tight. Overall, You’re Goddamn Right is insightful, rich, and hilarious.

Van Gorder’s vocal have a Brandon Boyd quality to them. But there’s also a sprinkling of John Flansburgh and John Linnell (They Might Be Giants) with a peppering of Les Claypool (Primus). That’s right, expect a wacky and pleasurable experience.

The band also produces some terrific videos. Like their music, the band knows how to put enthusiasm and wit into the visuals. Take the featured video, for instance. There’s a preachy way to talk about marriage equality and then there’s a lighthearted, sincere way with people rolling over hotdogs. Nicely done, everyone.

If you’re shopping for a fuck off song for a relative, look no further than “Only Child.” And if you need a song about just how batshit North Korea is, well, “Excellent Horse-Like Lady (USA Version)” is your jam. The #tags on their Soundcloud page alone make me want to download this thing.

This is what I’ve got say about Countless Thousands and You’re Goddamn Right: Here’s a band you need right now. The cure for sap. The fix for a broken robot. Music to survive five+ hours with your shitty family. Heart and balls music. Weird sex soundtrack. Get to it.

“Excellent Horse-Like Lady (USA Version)”

Productive dance through machine. “We are troops of the party”, sing.
So inspiring, factory comrade give you bouquet.
Dear Leader gave you a steed. All praise for your labor speed.
For the glory of Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.

And Kim Jung Un is classic handsome man,
Relationship with him I understand, but I
Wish you were with me. You’d boost my labor speed,
Boost ideology.
And when Dear Leader pass you fade away
And Great Successor new bringer of day
As I watch your YouTube loop. It’s all I have of you.
Which slows my labor speed.

“Webster’s Dictionary Defines Marriage As”

Danger Van Gorder – Vox, guitar
Davey Munch – Bass
Light Return – Guitar/vox
Jonathan David – Drums

Produced by Danger & Jonny, engineered and mixed by Jonny


1) The Asskickers’ Union
2) We’ve Got a Dress Code
3) Excellent Horse-Like Lady (USA Version)
4) Only Child
5) Webster’s Dictionary Defines Marriage As
6) Gang Fight